What Happens Next: Information for Kids About Separation and
Divorce,
published by Department of Justice, Canada – www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family

Tug of War: A Judge’s Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles,
and the Bitter Realities of Family Court, by Justice Harvey Brownstone, ECW Press,
2009

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In, Roger Fisher and William
Ury, Penguin Books, 1991

Difficult Conversations, Roger Fisher and Bruce Patton, Penguin Books, 1999

Child Support Information

http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/divorce/support/default.asp

Child Support Calculator

https://www.mysupportcalculator.ca/

CPP Credit Splitting

https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/cpp-split-credits.html

Family Responsibility Office

http://mcss.gov.on.ca/en/mcss/programs/familyresponsibility/index.aspx

Marriage Certificates

https://www.ontario.ca/page/how-get-copy-ontario-marriage-certificate-online

Marriage License

http://www.forms.ssb.gov.on.ca/mbs/ssb/forms/ssbforms.nsf/FormDetail?OpenForm&ACT=RD%20R&TAB=PROFILE&ENV=WWE&NO=007-11018E

Divorce Certificates

https://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/divorce/documentation/

Spousal Support Information

http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/divorce/support/spousal.asp

Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines

http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/spousal-epoux/ssag-ldfpae.html

Pension Valuations

http://fsco.gov.on.ca/en/pensions/Family-Law/Pages/familylawforms.aspx

Insurance Support Payments

• http://www.familysure.ca/
• http://www.familysure2000.com/enough (insurance
  calculator)

Pension Valuation Information

http://fsco.gov.on.ca/en/pensions/Family-Law/Pages/familylawforms.aspx

Canada Pension Plan and Division of Credits

http://www.servicecanada.gc.ca/eforms/forms/sc-isp-1901a(2013-07-31)e.pdf

RRSP Transfer Information

http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/E/pbg/tf/t2220/

Canada Revenue Agency – T1213 – Request to Reduce Tax Deductions at
Source for Year(s)

http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/E/pbg/tf/t1213/README.html

Vehicle Transfer Information

Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade

• International Child Abductions: http://travel.gc.ca/travelling/publications/international-child-abductions
• Information on children traveling without both parents: http://travel.gc.ca/travelling/children/consent-letter

Information on the Office of the Children’s Lawyer (OCL)

http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/ocl/

Information on the Family Responsibility Office (FRO)

http://mcss.gov.on.ca/en/mcss/programs/familyresponsibility/index.aspx

Counseling, Support and Peer Groups

• Scarborough Women’s Centre: http://www.scarboroughwomenscentre.ca/
• Jewish Family and Child Service of Ontario: http://www.jfandcs.com/
• Rainbows: http://www.rainbows.org/
• College of Physicians & Surgeons of Toronto: http://www.cpso.on.ca/Public-Register/All-Doctors-Search
• The Ontario Society of Psychotherapists: http://www.psychotherapyontario.com/

Career Services

• Times Change: http://www.timeschange.org/
• JVS (Jobs, Vision, Success): http://www.jvstoronto.org/

Domestic Violence

• Assaulted Women’s Helpline: http://www.awhl.org/
• Health Canada: National Clearinghouse on Family Violence: http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/index-eng.php
• Interval House: http://www.intervalhouse.ca/

Child and Family Advocates

• Jewish Family and Child Service of Toronto: http://www.jfandcs.com/
• Ministry of the Attorney General – The Office of the Children’s
  Lawyer: http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/ocl/
• Justice for Children and Youth: http://www.jfcy.org/

If you and your spouse are in the process of separating or getting a divorce, you can imagine that the most painful part of the process will center on money. In order to make the right financial decisions for yourselves and your children, it is crucial for each party to have an accurate picture of the other’s finances and to in turn disclose their own.

In May 2005, the Ontario Family Law rules were updated to include additional requirements for financial disclosure. The law has one simple stipulation: Full and complete financial disclosure is required by both spouses.

Furthermore, the Family Law Act allows the Court to “set aside” (meaning ‘not enforce’) any separation agreement that does not include a full financial disclosure. So why incur further costs and waste more time and money if you don’t have to, just do it right the first time.

The purpose of the financial disclosure is to make sure that the Net Family Property is properly equalized.

Pursuant to the Ontario Family Law Act, when two people enter into a marriage, each person becomes entitled to an equal share of the profit of that marriage. So, when a marriage ends, the law stipulates that the value of any kind of property that was acquired by a spouse during marriage and still exists at time of separation must be equally divided between the spouses. Please note that the law also provides that any increase in value of any property owned by one of the spouses prior to the marriage has to be shared. The payment that may be owed to one spouse is what we call “Equalization payment”.

In order to equalize their Net Family Property, both parties have to show the value of all their assets and liabilities at the date of their separation (Valuation date) but also at the date of their marriage. Therefore, it is essential that each spouse provide a complete list of all their financial records for these two dates.
There are exceptions which are called “Excluded property” such as gift and inheritance. Parties will also need to provide proof of when those were received and where those amounts went. (see excluded Property article)

What kind of financial documents am I expected to provide?

Generally speaking your mediator or lawyer will ask you to provide the following documents:

– Bank accounts (Chequing, Savings)
– Investment: Profit Sharing Shares, Non-Registered Cash, RRSPs, Cash value life insurance, Bonds,
GICs, TFSAs, Mutual Funds.
– Pension Valuations*, LIRAs
– Tax returns, Notice of assessments (NOAs), T4s for the last 3 years or 5 years for self-employed.
– Paystubs or other proof of income for the last 6-12 months.
– Statements of all debts you have an interest in such as but not limited to personal loans (Family
or business), Car loans, Mortgages, Line of Credits, Student loans, Income tax owing, Utility or
property tax owing, etc.
– List of all your property you own or have an interest in, such as but not limited to, your home,
your cottage, vacation home, time shares.
– Evaluations or appraisals of the properties mentioned above.
– Financial Statement regarding any business you may have interests in or business you may own.
– List of property you owned prior to marriage, such as but not limited to, jewelry, antiques, tools,
artwork.
– All other document that may be relevant to your financial situation.

All the statements you provide must have the name of the institution, account or policy number as well as amounts or balances.

It is important to also understand that Child Support is determined solely based on the payor’s income and number of children; here, financial disclosure as to annual income is essential. Any Spousal Support obligations will also be based on income.

What happens if I don’t provide full financial disclosure?

If you negotiate a separation agreement with your spouse, but that agreement does not reflect your true financial situation, your spouse can later apply to court to have your agreement set aside as a result of your non-disclosure. The money you saved going through mediation will be spent threefold on lawyer’s fees and court fees and to top it all off, you may end up with costs award against you.

Financial disclosure provides parties a real and accurate picture of their respective financial situation enabling both parties to then make the best-informed decisions about their future for themselves and for their children.

It seems I have always loved helping others, and this, from a very young age. I am known to have a knack for ‘active listening’ and the ability of bringing people together and fostering relationships based on trust and respect. I am approachable to all, no matter the gender, the nationality, the age or whatever else. People are people and I am passionate about their diversity.

What differentiates me from others in my field. Contrary to most colleagues, I did not choose mediation as a profession it chose me. Whatever the role, whatever the position I had, I was naturally sought-after in the role of counsellor, mediator, arbitrator and/or facilitator, whether personal or work related. The reasons for that are quite simple, I thrive on interaction while finding win-win solutions and it’s addictive. Everyone has a story to tell, and by truly listening, I continuously learn from their experiences, their successes and their failures, which is always a constant source of inspiration in resolving conflicts.

As mediators we are there to guide the process but we are also there to help parties truly listen to each other’s story in order to mutually explore the underlying issues, concerns and fears they have. No agreement is sustainable if the sources of frustration and aggravation have not been identified and resolved to a certain comfort level.

In addition to a high level of personal experience in conflict resolution I also have experienced first-hand, the emotional roller coaster of my own divorce. Going through it myself has certainly helped me to better understand the attendant feelings of confusion, mistrust, betrayal and anger that couples go through daily. The experience continues to teach me, that the ability to maintain civility in the face of divorce is an ongoing requirement if children are to grow up to become happy and healthy adults capable of entering into committed relationships themselves in the future.

My divorce agreement was far from “short and sweet” and yet it had no detailed parenting plan. Needless to say that this resulted over the years in many conflicts, disagreements and phone calls to our respective lawyers. This was a very expensive “venture” which could have paid for a Harvard education for our son!

It could have all been avoided had we both had the wisdom to take a deep breath, a step back, and educated ourselves a bit more on the benefits of mediation and the importance of having a good parenting plan. This is what I can offer you:

My plan covers everything from who keeps the Medicare cards to who takes the kids when they are sick, when they have PED days, who keeps the passport, who goes halloweening with them, who pays for their allowance, their extra curricular activities etc. There is very little, if anything I have not thought of while ensuring the best interest of the children in the process.

Please read my article on parenting plans and on the benefits of mediation and, if you are still on the fence about mediation, please contact me and I will gladly talk or meet you to show you how mediation is definitely the best solution to a peaceful resolution!

Mediation-Arbitration or Med-Arb, is an approach that combines the benefits of both techniques. The sessions start with the parties trying to collaborate on an agreement with the help of the mediator, or the med-arbiter.

This process follows the usual mediation process, initial individual meetings, followed by sessions with both parties. The goal is to do everything possible to reach an amicable and workable agreement that everyone can embrace, support and in the case of children an agreement that focusses on their best interest.

If for some reason the parties are unable to reach a final agreement but have agreed on some of their issues, the mediator or med-arbiter then assumes the role of arbitrator (if qualified) and renders a binding decision, usually very quickly, on all the unresolved issues. If a different person is chosen to be the arbitrator in a med-arb case, he or she can take over all or part of the dispute from the mediator.

Statistically, most cases of med-arb turn into successful mediations with no requirement for arbitration. When that actually happens that’s great but in the cases where mediation was not successful then not so much.

Like any other alternative dispute resolution process there are advantages and disadvantages to med-arb.

Advantages:

– Cost and time effective: Sessions are based on the parties schedules and availability. They control the pace of the process it can be quick or slow it’s completely up to the parties to decide. No requirement to wait on court date availability. No need to re-start process if mediation fails, can continue with same med-arbiter who already knows the case.

– Decision making over final outcome: Parties can settle the dispute during mediation and be in full control of final outcome or can also decide to let 3rd party med-arbiter make the final decisions.

– Finality: Some parties opt for the arbitration side of med-arb as it provides finality. They know the med-arbiter has complete authority to create a final and binding settlement.

– Acts as a motivator: Parties know that if they don’t come to an agreement during the mediation sessions they will no longer be in a position to make decisions for themselves, their kids and families. That knowledge in itself often motivates parties to work harder in mediation in order to come to a mutually beneficial agreement.

Some people will tell you that med-arb is great and is much cheaper than court. Until you actually experience it you may believe that. Let me tell you that is often not the case as I unfortunately found out lately, when my best friend had to go through the process herself. First, make sure your lawyer explains to you the implications of entering a Med/arb Agreement before you agree and sign it. Here are some of the things my friend found out the hard way:

• Once you sign the Med/Arb Agreement it’s not that easy to get out of it. If mediation is unsuccessful you cannot say that you no longer want to arbitrate, in the majority of the cases you are now committed whether you want it or not.
• In my best friend’s case, the arbitrator also requested 3 post dated cheques of $25,000.00 each and also mentioned that these were only deposits that the arbitration could very well cost $200K.
• The opposing party can call upon as many witnesses as they want so the more witnesses the more time, days the more you pay your arbitrator, your lawyers etc.
• If you are dealing with a self-employed party, arbitration will not help you discover more than mediation did, if he/she hides his/her money well there is nothing the arbitrator can do.
• Do not go with an arbitrator that was chosen by the opposing party, try to get one that is not known by both party this will hopefully reduce all biases or conflict of interest. 

The other main problem I see with Med/Arb is that it discourages honesty, openness, financial disclosure: If you know some of the information you may divulge during your mediation sessions may be used against you if the process moves to arbitration you may not be willing to be as forthcoming as you would in a pure mediation process. Parties may also agree to certain things they normally would not out of fear of losing even more in arbitration.

My advice or my recommendation is do everything you can to resolve your issues in mediation, draft your Parenting Plan, do your financial disclosure and calculate your Net Family property with your mediator, just these 3 things will save you tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees.